But I never told you, until now
by lisbonoh
Summary: Same situation, same feelings. Will Felicity be able to hold her feelings to herself again?


This is my first olicity fanfic and it's actually really personal, so please tell me what you think!

Thanks for reading!

(Unfortunately, I do not own Arrow.)

It was late and Felicity was tired from a long, stressful and emotional day. Telling personal things to people was never her strong, even though she talked a lot. But there she was, telling a _really_ personal thing to one of the most important people that had ever stepped in her life, Oliver Queen. And coming between him and his mother made things even more complicated. After finding out that Thea was not Robert Queen's daughter and was actually Malcolm Merlyn's, dad of Oliver's dead best friend, she couldn't keep it a secret from him. The guy that made butterflies go crazy in her stomach and was oh-so-not-on-the-crush-state anymore, the guy that made her heart race and all the reasons stop being reasons.

Almost getting home, she realized she forgot her iPad in the foundry and was planning on having a crazy night with ice-cream and a marathon of Orphan Black, which would be impossible without it. Turning around, she made her way back to Verdant thinking if she would find Oliver there, and then her mind made all the work for her, thinking about him and switching between thoughts of having someday, an opportunity with the man she was in love with and the fact that he may not notice her in a more-than-friends way.

Arriving there, she found Oliver shirtless and thoughtful, playing with a pen, with his back leaned on the table.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" His tone was kind of weird but nothing to think about.

"Just came back to-" She didn't finish explaining because the bathroom door had just opened.

"Oliver, do you think- oh, hey Felicity, what are you doing here?" Sara asked while putting her shirt back on and buttoning her pants, making pretty obvious what happened before she had arrived.

"Nothing, just forgot my iPad." She tried to hide the sad tone but she knew Oliver noticed her face, the same face she had when she found out that Oliver had slept with Isabel. "Well, you two have a goodnight."

Turning around she made her way to the stairs as quickly as possible and didn't look back.

Again. Oliver Queen broke her heart again.

After a long time in the shower, damned the ice-cream, damned the tv shows. She needed a drink. Finding a bottle of vodka, she didn't care for glasses or anything. She drank straight from the bottle taking long sips, feeling the drink burn inside of her. She was mad, with Oliver, with Sara, with this whole situation. But mostly, with herself.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid Felicity. Fooled, once again." She whispered to herself.

She decided she was too mad to just sit and cry, so she put some MGMT play and danced around the room while drinking.

What she didn't notice was that somebody was watching her from her window. After 30 minutes dancing and drinking without not even taking a 5 minute break, she crashed onto her sofa and stopped the music. She felt everything spin around, and then listened to a knock on the window.

She sat quickly and her world turned around, and then saw that Oliver was watching her. She couldn't believe in what she was seeing, but well, she was too drunk to think straight. Crossing the room, she opened the door and made room for him to come in.

"What do you want?" She asked turning around with an almost empty bottle of vodka in her right hand.

"To check on you" he said calmly, taking a step closer.

"Well, I'm ok, so you can go now." She answered, tripping between her words.

"I can see that…"

"H-how long have you been out there?"

"Long enough to-" he was saying, taking another step closer to her, when she interrupted him.

"Don't. Don't come closer. Go away Oliver. I can't handle this tonight, not again. There's no Russia to leave things this time."

He stared at her. There were tears in her eyes and she was tired and sad, but he knew he had to give her space. So he nodded and turned around, understanding the whole situation from just a few words.

"I'm sorry." He said before leaving.

That was it. She was drunk and stressed and couldn't contain herself from saying the next words.

"You are sorry? Really? Sorry? You said you could not be with someone you cared about, and there you were, screwing the girl that you cheated on Laurel with, who you thought was dead, who you did _so much _so she could be with her family! Not care?! I can freaking see that!" She was almost yelling and tears were rolling down her cheek now. "You said that you could not be with someone you care about! You keep leading me on and putting me down and I`m tired of you not noticing me because-because…"

And without noticing, she took several steps towards him and was hitting him on his chest with all her strength.

He took her tiny wrists and made her stop, pulling her into his embrace while she was sobbing.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" She said between sobs, which made his heart ache.

"Shhh…"

"What do other girls have that I don't?"

"Felicity…"

He held her until her sobs calmed down. He wanted to tell her that she was perfect and way too good for him. That there was nothing wrong with her. That she was as remarkable as he always said she was. But noticing she was too drunk to remember a word he'd say, he led her to the couch and sat with her, pulling her next to him in a way that she could lay on his chest and be confortable.

After a few minutes of silence, she turned into his embrace and looked straight in his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I love you."

"Don't be. We'll talk about this in the morning."

"Will you be here?"

"Do you want me to?"

Turning to her initial position, she made herself confortable and let him stroke her hair until she fell sleep.


End file.
